First line critiques

First Lines Not to turn this into a meme but I'm going to play too. :D What I have with me that hasn't been published or maybe even finished yet.

#1: “You sure are going to a lot of trouble.”

*SNORT* Yeah, that loses a lot without context.

#2: Wyatt Cain rode slowly through the barrack’s gates into the Royal Palace’s compound.

Serviceable, I guess.

#3: She propped her head up on her elbow and considered the nude lines of the man standing at the large curtain-less window.

Nudity makes everything better.

#4: Peggy Wynn flipped through her portfolio one more time.

And I still hate Peggy's last name. She's a writer and she needs a better imagination. Or better phone book research skills.

What does this prove? I like to extend the hook of the narrative to the whole opening paragraph. Agreed, the shorter the work, the more that first line must do, but I think readers process more in paragraph chunks than on the sentence level. So let's see these examples with some context.

#1: “You sure are going to a lot of trouble.” Vinnie leaned against the bathroom’s doorjamb, and watched Throttle buttoning the black, long-sleeved shirt. “You two should be way past the bribing into her pants stage.”

Vinnie is always good for a laugh. And boy, this story is light on the comedic moments.

#2: Wyatt Cain rode slowly through the barrack’s gates into the Royal Palace’s compound. It had been almost a year since the Eclipse, and the Royal Army hadn’t finished renovating the former Longcoat headquarters. He hoped the rest of Central City looked better. The Palace next to the barracks gleamed in the suns. He wondered which tower housed DG before shaking his head. A lowly Tin Man—-even if he was a hero of the realm-—shouldn’t be concerned about such matters. That had been made clear the last time he had been in her Majesty’s presence.

I think that does a much better job of hooking I hope.

#3: She propped her head up on her elbow and considered the nude lines of the man standing at the large curtain-less window. The glow of Central City beyond the glass bathed his scarred muscles and fair hair green. Heat pooled in her belly as she remembered how those strong limbs had tangled with hers on this bed she stretched across. But he seemed content to expose his glory to the city below. “I married as exhibitionist,” she snorted.

No names because I want some ambiguity about the POV character.

#4: Peggy Wynn flipped through her portfolio one more time. All the pieces showed off her writing, but also conveyed how interesting she could make interviews and childhood remembrances. Just what Mr. Nate Ardenwood would need in the ghostwriter of his memoirs. She shut the binder and leaned back in the chair. Ardenwood’s executive assistant had apologized profusely for the wait before leaving for the day. What could possibly be taking so long? How tempting it was to just leave, but she needed this job. She closed her green eyes.

I'm glad this one is still in writing stage. It needs to be chopped to bits. I like the rest of the scene though, just how to get to the good stuff.

Let me know what you think: sentences versus paragraphs. Or do I just need to work harder on those first sentences. :D

Personal updates: I've finally made it to the last section of the "Turbo" edits to make it's draft 2. And I slice off the tip of my middle finger and make typing and writing with a pen a real bitch. Before that happened my plans were to finish Turbo and buckle down on all the Tin Man edits while finishing my website update. Now I need to scale back because I'm finding it impossible not to type with that finger.