Tin Man: Pirates Editing Update 6

Tin Man: Pirates of the Nonestic: Second Draft Chapter Progress

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Tin Man: Pirates of the Nonestic: Third Draft Chapter Progress

Progress Bar from Writertopia

Insomnia is great when you can actually make use of it. :p When the whole sleep thing was not happening last night, I should have gotten up and started working on something, rather than lay in my dark bedroom staring at the ceiling.

Anyways, I managed to get quite a bit done this weekend, in between working on the local server project that will not end. I still haven't figured out what to do with that mess, but I need to make a decision soon.

My beta reader was very confused over the formatting for one chapter, and since I didn't have a clue when I typed I decided to drop the dilemma in here and see what other people make of it.

Quoting anything over 4 lines long is set off in as block quotation usually centered or margin-adjusted on the page. Quoted song lyrics are usually italicized and block quoted (at least the most recent example I found in a published work was). A new speaker means a new paragraph. So what happens when you have a new singer?

Here's a sample of what I tried to do:
[Tabbed over] Jenkins lost his surprised expression as he pulled his guitar onto his lap. “It reminds me of a queen I knew once.” He fell into a chord that was familiar to the crew as they started tapping feet and Spencer started the same song on the fiddle.


“Gentlemen it is my duty to inform you of one beauty,
though I ask of you a favor, not to seek her for a while.
For I own she is a creature of character and feature,
no words can paint the picture of the Queen of all Argyll.”

[Tabbed over] All the men started singing the chorus.

“And if you could have seen her there, boys if you had just been there!
The swan was in her movement and the morning in her smile.
All the roses in the garden would bow and ask her pardon.
For not one could match the beauty of the Queen of all Argyll.”

Sample Number two:
[Tabbed over] “Then ‘Dark Lady’ you shall have. Now go feed your belly.” Betsy set her food aside. Sprite bounded up to Cain, grabbing her meal with a huge grin. Spencer started the song on his fiddle and played for a few measures before Betsy blended her strong voice with the melody.

“A fierce one-eyed man named Baron LaBonne,
a meaner pirate had never been known,
and he sailed on the Dark Lady.
A ship strong and sound with a perilous crew,
and high on the mast the skull and bones flew.
Fleet and swift was the Dark Lady.


And every night the Baron would drink a toast.
He'd say, "Here's to my lovely lady host!
My one true love."
[Tabbed over] The entire room called out, "Hear, hear!"
[Tabbed over] And Betsy continued the song,
“the crew replied.
And the Dark Lady sighed.

This scene and the three songs would be so much easier to film. :p And I doubt this is less confusing when I get to "Whiskey in the Jar." Any thoughts?