METRICS Previous Word Count: 61,734
New Words: 621
Total words for the first draft: 62,355
NaNo 2023 Cumulative Word Count: 15,139
What I Accomplished in the Narrative Today: Skipped a scene with Peg that would be nothing but active introspection on her part since I’m kind of introspected out of by today and started David, Raven, and Ferris conference scene instead.
Fave line: “We only have an hour before he has to go and we need to know what the hell happened last night, so get your bony ass out of my bed already!”
What Else I Accomplished Today: Started off with a bit of introspection this morning in the lastEUfans Slack. I had made an observation last night that has been lingering in my mind that I was doing good reaching my daily word count goal of 600, but less well hitting the 1667 NaNo daily word goal and went to bed. Which got me honest push back that the NaNo’s word goal “is intense by design. I’m not sure how people do it while still doing life at all.” (I honestly think they dump the life aspects on partners or other family members or roommates or they are much better at the word vomit than I am.) That push back triggered some unpacking for me, which is going here so I will do math in December to smack my expectations with evidence.
I’ve had 600 words as a daily goal for years because I’m equally confident that I can write that in an hour and if I don’t, it’s not because of other things getting in the way, the only reason that I can fail at such an easy attainable goal that only takes an hour is because I am lazy and undisciplined, and will never be a published author because I am lazy and undisciplined.
This is not new territory. The writing blog I started back in 2004 is titled Discipline Under Fire, because OBVIOUSLY my willpower and dedication and discipline to stick to my desires was sorely lacking and needed a bit of public accountability.
I like to think I have mellowed out on myself in the nearly twenty years since that. Reading Laziness Does Not Exist by Devon Price Ph.D. helped but I think I may have to have it handy for a reread in December when I confront myself with math evidence with all the word count tracking spreadsheets I keep. Because I honestly typed: “Most days I can move through (meaning writing and being happy with the words I achieved) without waking up that brain weasel (having my jerkbrain scream abuse at myself because I’m a failure that so clearly deserve abuse);” the utter honesty at 4:30 a.m. when I should be getting dressed. The brain weasel is sleeping. It is not dead, it hasn’t moved out, it’s just having a nap to get ready to tear into me again.
Back on why I need math evidence topic. The weasel is sleeping but my unrealistic expectation that I can obviously write 600 words in an hour is getting the equivalent of a finger flick to the forehead because I am putting in a rough average of at least two hours a day to just Strix: Forget the Sun and its metrics for NaNo but not getting much higher than 600 words a day. What I can actually write in an hour and plans to strengthen that muscle has to wait until December when I have time to pull out spreadsheets and crunch.
But I honestly have more unpacking to do on this whole thing because I have buried that it was a thing. At this point of my day, it’s becoming a procrastination tactic to avoid the fiction writing. Don’t worry, these words get counted toward my NaNo goals too. I should’ve made a category for that but forgot to back on November 1st, but they go on the spreadsheet and get counted under the Cumulative NaNo total.
Where I am leaving this whole messy thing right now: this is Day 15 and I haven’t tossed Strix: Forget the Sun aside as unwritable for another year has made this NaNo a success. I have already made more words this year than I made in NaNo 2019 (3780 words) or in Camp NaNo 2021 (13,317 words).
What I'm looking forward to: I have a massage tomorrow. And then my weekend plus a vacation with Thanksgiving.
What I'm not looking forward to: Travel with my parents to see my sister for Thanksgiving. Very, very unsure how it’s going to go.
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