Saturday, June 03, 2006

Notes for the Evil Jack series 1

Moved from a June 10, 2004 post at Intentionally Left Blank

Starting with it because it's shorter and less dependent on at home notes.

The series starts with "Domestic Bliss" set an indeterminate time after "Once Upon a Time on Mars." The bros have been on Earth for four years. It's an alternate universe in which Jack is an abusive psycho. But it has to be a believable development from what was shown on the show. I've been told it works.

"In Sickness" while much shorter is carrying a lot. First, evidence of how Throttle has adopted Hannah in his heart and his head hasn't recognized it yet. Second, introducing the plague. Third, evidence of Throttle and Carbine's deteriorating relationship.

Now we're getting out of the realm of what is to what is yet to be.


The third story's title hasn't been decided yet. I'm using "For Worse" now. Scene outline:

The bros are in front of the garage playing bottles 'n brodies with Hannah watching. Game over, Modo goes inside for drinks, Throttle's resetting the area, and Hannah begs Uncle Vinnie to let her play too. Vinnie of the infinite wisdom, scoops her up onto the seat in front of him, and they go skidding, covering Throttle with motor oil. Before Throttle or Modo can react, enter Charley back from her errand and irate. She proceeds to get her child out of harms way and to skin Vinnie, Throttle, and Modo for their irresponsibility without a knife.

Vinnie and Modo retreat. Throttle takes a shower to get the motor oil off and comes out to a crying Hannah, and a not much better Charley. Hannah thinks her mother's rules means she can't play with her uncles ever again. Throttle calms them both down, and explains that some of the games are really training exercises and that making them a game is the only way to get Vinnie to do them. He ends up staying for supper. Vinnie calls during supper convinced that what Charley needs is a night on the town tomorrow night. Modo gets babysitting duty since Throttle's expecting a call from Mars.

The date is a disaster. Vinnie can't stop flirting with other women, he does something else she finds totally immature, and she gets fed up and leaves.

The radio conversation is from Carbine's POV on Mars. She breaks up with Throttle, to make him realize that their relationship is more important than the fight on Earth or whatever is keeping him there. She has her doubts and it was one of the hardest decisions she's ever had to make, but she's going to stick with it. Stoker pokes his head in and asks if she needs a drink as bad as she looks like she does. She takes him up on the offer.

Back on Earth, Vinnie has come to the Last Chance but just finds Modo waiting for Charley to come home. Modo has a talk with him, pointing out that Charley doesn't need another kid to raise, she needs someone that can help her with this one; she's not looking for reckless abandonment, looking for dependability. And that Vinnie needs to figure out if that's what he wants too and be honest with her and himself.

Meanwhile Charley has found Throttle getting very drunk and trying to hit the baseballs his bike is pitching. The only way he will talk is to play the game, which requires taking a swig, taking a swing, and then asking the question. The conversation inbetween all that slowly reveals the break up with Carbine, how Throttle feels about that, and what's wrong with Vinnie according to Charley. It ends with the two of them going up to the Scoreboard for sex.

Cut to Jack. He has both the scoreboard and garage under video surveillance, and watches Throttle and Charley. He starts planning his revenge.

Next morning, Charley gets to the garage first, having left Throttle still asleep. In the midst of getting Hannah ready for school and the garage ready to open, Vinnie talks to Charley about how he's not ready to settle down yet and can they still be friends. Charley hugs him saying "you'll always have a place in my heart." Neither one realizing that Throttle has now gotten to the garage and overheard that part.

Throttle decides that Charley must be giving Vinnie another chance and be damned if he's going to let his bro screw up Charley's happiness. He'll do the sacrifice and help Vinnie become what Charley and Hannah need. He gets Charley alone to tell her "last night never happened." A little hurt, Charley agrees thinking he must still have issues with the break up

Fast forward a week through narration. Throttle has been aloof and rude and withdrawn.
Throttle's brushoffs are hurting Charley deeply. She's miserable and not hiding it very well. Vinnie and Modo are almost convinced he's losing it.

Movie night at the garage. Hannah's movie is done and she wants Throttle to put her to bed. He thinks he's going to tell her a bedtime story, but Hannah wants to talk about why he's making Charley cry. Throttle tries to explain that Charley's going to find Hannah a new daddy, and he wouldn't want Throttle hanging around so much. Hannah gets him to agree to be her pretend daddy until there is a new one.

On the living room couch, Vinnie starts a tickle fight trying to get out of Charley why she's so down in the dumps. Throttle leaves Hannah bedroom in time to see it, and even though Charley pulls herself away to say good-night to Hannah, he decides he can't stand to see them flirting and leaves.

Vinnie and Modo talk to Charley, who hedges around why she's upset. Even though they know it's Throttle. She doesn't crack though, and doesn't tell them what happened between her and Throttle. They eventually watch the movie and go to the scoreboard.

Back at the scoreboard, Vinnie and Modo try to tackle Throttle on Charley. Throttle frustrated that Vinnie just isn't getting it--doesn't help that the tan leader is being obtuse with his point--storms out on his bike. Vinnie and Modo decide to let him blow off the steam and go to bed, not voicing their fears that this ain't like Throttle.

Next morning at the garage, Vinnie and Modo arrive in a panic. Throttle never came back to the scoreboard, he's not at the garage, and his bike isn't showing on their tracer view screens. Hannah wants to help look but Charley convinces her her job is to go to school and act like everything is normal. Vinnie and Modo go to search for Throttle.

Jump to Throttle. He comes to on a cold cement floor. A thick steel door opens and Jack starts taunting him. Knows all about everything that happened between him and Charley, calls Charley a slut. And Throttle loses it, rushing at Jack, only to find his arms and legs and tail are manacled with chains just long enough to let him move but not reach the door. Jack hits a button and this device slams against Throttle's back, holding him in place. I'm thinking something like what football players practice on. Torture moves to the physical phase, but Jack's careful not to overdo it. Throttle's only the bait.

Skip to next day somehow. Modo and Vinnie are really frantic now. Limburger doesn't have Throttle, nobody else has seen him. Maybe I'll do this narration through Hannah's POV to move quickly into the next part.

She's at school waiting to get on her bus, when a biker pulls up. He doesn't take off his helmet and has Throttle's bandanna. She decides to go with him to save Throttle. He brings her to the chained and beaten up Throttle and reveals himself to be Jack. It's not a happy reunion. No pounding on the kid though.

Cut to Charley. Vinnie and Modo are now out searching for Hannah since she didn't come home on the bus. The phone rings and it's Jack. He can see everything Charley tries to do. She can't leave a note for the
bros and Jack gives her the address to come to. He's got their radio
frequencies so she can't call Vinnie and Modo for help. As she drives to
the address, she gets a brainwave and stops at a payphone.

Cut back to Throttle & Hannah. Jack brings Charley into the room with them
for the tortures to begin. Jack forces Charley to kiss Throttle, but that doesn't go as he expected i.e. Charley and Throttle liked it. Scuffles breaks out between Charley and Jack and Jack wins just barely. Charley and Hannah are chained up and when Jack leaves, he pulls back the thing bracing Throttle in place. Throttle ends up landing on Charley and Hannah.

Finally get Throttle up and Charley pulls a screwdriver out of her boot. Works on picking Hannah's manacle first, and Hanaah makes the great observation that Charley and Throttle "kiss just like in the movies."

Charley starts going into her escape plan. She wants Hannah to run out the door, leaving Jack to her and Throttle. Get out the building go to a policeman. Tell the policeman to take you to Chef Andy. Hannah wants to find Modo and Vinnie, but Charley insists on this plan.

Throttle insists that Charley break her locks before starting on his, and Jack comes in just when she's about to start on Throttle's. Hannah runs out during Jack and Charley's fight. Charley ends up stabbing Jack in the side with the screwdriver. He gets out of the room but comes back with a gun. Charley deflects his aim but the ricochetting bullet hits Throttle in the leg. He got stuck upright again, and losing lots of blood.

Jack decides to leave Charley there to watch Throttle die, and to take care of his own wound. Charley realizes the bullet didn't come out and tries to stop the blood flow. Throttle starts a last thing I can tell you speech, or at least tries too.

Charley. "Don't you even think about dying on me!" type thing. And Throttle's not trying to declare his undying love. He wants her to be happy with Vinnie since he thinks that's what she wants.

Cut to Hannah. She knows Charley and Throttle need Vinnie and Modo, but she doesn't know where they are. So she follows a bike and ends up at the neighborhood biker bar. No Vinnie and Modo inside. A sympathetic waitress finally gets enough story from Hannah to put a call out on the CB radio.

Cut to Vinnie and Modo. School was no help, they though Hannah was going with one of them. Then a request from Charley starts playing on the radio. "Hit the Road Jack." Only when they try to contact the station for more info, Sweet Georgie's gone home for the day.

So they are seriously considering Vinnie's suggestion of getting that address by any means, when someone calls on the CB looking for bikers connected with the Last Chance Garage. It's the bar with Hannah. They pick her up and Hannah tells them, leading them back to Jack's.

Big fight. Though Jack manages to escape. Throttle passes out, last thing he mutters is "just be happy, Charley" and hears her anguish cries for Vinnie.

Well he's completely out now. Vinnie and Modo are getting him out, Charley undoes whatever Jack did to Throttle's bike and asks for her help. Vinnie and Modo get Throttle back to the garage while Charley and Hannah go on Throttle's bike to that hospital and get the doctor that helped with Hannah.

He's nice and comes and patches up Throttle. And I don't have to deal with a transfusion like I was afraid I was going to have to. Turns out when you're badly injured and standing upright, your brain forces you to pass out so it can deal with the injury. If you're laying down, infinite capacity for pain.

Modo takes the Doc home. Charley's sitting with Throttle waiting for him to come to. Hannah got ready for bed while staying out of the way and crawls into Charley's lap. She got some questions on her mind. Jack had called Hannah a thing, that she was just created. Hannah wants to make sure she's not a thing. Charley kinda explains how babies are made without graphic details. Charley does leave out the whole Karbunkle angle. Hannah's okay with it, but her next question is does she have to call Jack "daddy" still. That's a no. So Hannah wants to know if Throttle's going to be okay. Yeah he will be, we just have to wait till he wakes up. No Hannah you can't wake him up.

Hannah works up up enough nerve to ask "Why can't Uncle Throttle be my daddy?" Charley's trying to come up with an answer, when Throttle wakes up. "Nobody's asked me for the job," is his joking response. Then Vinnie interrupts. He just came up to tell Charley he found all the bugging devices Jack put in the garage. But Throttle puts the wrong spin on it since they went over to the door to talk and Hannah's still yammering in his ear. He tells her he can't be her daddy, and that's what breaks the kid after this day. She runs out crying. Charley chases after her.

Vinnie's left with "what the heck?" And Throttle can barely tell him to go after them. Vinnie still doesn't get it, and Throttle yells at him. "You want Charley, you're going to have to be Hannah's daddy! I broke her heart, she's looking for one, go on, it's a chance to score easy points with both her and Charley." Vinnie leaves, and finds Charley sitting on Hannah's bed trying to rock Hannah. Vinnie tells her to go talk to Throttle. She won't, not after he made Hannah cry. Modo's made it back from dropping th doc off and Vinnie asks for help. Vinnie takes Hannah from Charley, passes her to Modo, then grabs Charley, slings her over his shoulder and carries her back in her bedroom where Throttle is.

Vinnie leaves them in there, telling them to deal with whatever is between them, and shuts the door. Modo and Hannah are having a huh? moment out in the living room, till Vinnie comes out and explains that Throttle does want to be her daddy, but he thinks Charley wants Vinnie to be it. Hannah's response "But Mommy doesn't want you."

Jumping back to Throttle and Charley.
C: How could you? All she wants is a daddy. Couldn't you do it despite how you feel about me?
T: And make it even harder for Vinnie? Is that how you make families on Earth?
C: What does Vinnie have to do with anything!
T: Charley, all I want is for you and Hannah to be happy. You picked Vinnie fine. But you can't expect me to lie to Hannah.
C: Picked Vinnie for what? For Hannah? He's just now gotten over being jealous of her.
T: You two have enough to work out without me being a father for Hannah and undermining Vinnie.
C: I think I should've asked whether blood loss causes brain damage.
T: You're the one who said he'd always have a place in your heart!
C: As a friend! And that's all he is!

Throttle tries to get up out of the bed. Charley restrains him.
T: I just wants to make sure you were happy. And if Vinnie was what you wanted I wasn't getting in the way.
C: So you said nothing had happened, and kept leaving so Vinnie and I could be alone.
T: I didn't want to watch.
C: And it never occured to you to ask?!

After some awkward silence.
T: Charley, I'm sorry. I... I understand if you don't want to, but will you give me a chance to make it up to you and Hannah? Start over and do it right?
C: Stammering I can't.... I can't keep putting me and Hannah through this
She continues as Throttle's bracing himself for the worse.
C: I can't keep starting over with the man I want to marry!
T: But I'm not a man.
C: Mouse then! You! I love you and I want to marry you!

Big kissy. Vinnie peeks in and let Hannah go in.
T: Is the job to be your daddy still open, Princess?
Looking very serious H: Do you want him, Mommy?
C: Yeah.
Goes to cut off Throttle's air flow with a hug. H: I've got a daddy!

T: What kind of wedding do you want, Charley? A Martian one or an Earth one.
C: Don't care. Which one keeps you from leaving?
T: I know the Martian one doesn't let me.
Modo steps forward to help. Exchange of earring, Modo asks them both if they want to get married, and then declares kiss the bride.
H: That's it!
V: Well, the ceremony got a lot shorter in the war.
When they stop kissing, Throttle sees Charley's trying to hide some disappointment.
T: It's not what you wanted.
C: I want you. But I thought I'd at least do it in a fancy dress.
T: I'll give you an Earth wedding, I promise. As soon as I figure out how.
Charley snuggles up against him in the bed, Hannah on his other side. Modo and Vinnie beat a quiet exit.
C: It doesn't matter. I"m not losing you now.


Stories 4 and 5 in the next installment. What do you think?

No comments: